Forgive me for using the name of a song (one of my favorites, btw), for these thoughts. Hopefully, by the end of my story you will understand better how it fits.
I was sitting at a light the other day, waiting to make a right turn. I wanted to stop and get a cherry limeade before meeting my husband at the church office. I didn’t want to keep him waiting, but I wanted a cherry limeade. Knowing that the drive-thru line at this particular establishment could often be slow, I was feeling a tad bit anxious and slightly rushed, not so much that I was irritated, but enough so that I was feeling mildly impatient.
The light turned green and I could’ve made the turn except for a man who was still halfway across the intersection and walking like nobody’s life depended on it. He was a very large, unkempt man and his stomach was partially showing out from under his very worn shirt. Immediately I thought… well, I won’t tell you what I immediately thought. If you’ve read my blog at all, you know exactly what I thought. I thought what most judgemental people think. A young, fit looking man, sitting on his bike on the corner looked at me and gave me a knowing smile, further supporting my “jump to judgement” thoughts.
Finally, the man made his way to the corner and stepped onto the sidewalk just as the light turned red, giving the opposing traffic permission to fill the intersection, once again making a right turn impossible. Even the young man on the bike got to cross the street in front of me. The object of my annoyance simply continued to amble up the street, unaware of fact that he had just caused a rift in my universe, which of course revolves around me.
Annoying Man was still in my mind’s eye when I finally got to make the right turn and head toward my cherry limeade. Then something happened that I did not expect.
As I watched him ambling through my memory, I noticed that he looked tired, depressed, beaten down. I wondered what life circumstances surrounded him growing up resulting in the life he now lives and the physical limitations he currently accepts. I felt his hopelessness against anything ever-changing in his world. My heart was torn at the thought that this broken world had broken this man and he could do nothing now but survive the reality in which he finds himself.
I identified with the hopelessness he felt. There are areas in my life that have been swallowed up in that hopelessness and I don’t know if they will ever be redeemed this side of heaven. If I’ve been able push those areas outside of my purview and continue to live my life in some semblance of what is acceptable to society, it is only because I have been handed more than this man has.
Tears fell as I realized that God watches this man every day. And his heart breaks for him every day. In his mercy, God broke my heart for this stranger who ambled through my life, and used it as yet another opportunity to gently, softly kill that part of me that judges so easily.
I’ve said before and I will say again…
If God’s judgment does not kill me, his mercy surely will.
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:21-24
